My Journey Toward Courage
Why I'm starting a newsletter dedicated to Courage
Do you know what happens when you drop a Mentos into a bottle of soda?
I ask because—metaphorically speaking—I aspire to be that Mentos.
If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, this is what happens. The Mentos creates a physical reaction that causes bubbles to form, which make the soda explode out of the bottle.
As a kid, I used to experiment with this in my backyard. Super fun!
As an adult, I have a different relationship with it. Now, the bottle of soda reflects so much of our modern lives—the way we keep ourselves contained, in line, just like everyone else. The bottle keeps us safe and flat. It keeps our true selves inside, conforming to norms and other people’s expectations for us.
But when that physical reaction happens, we’re allowed to explore outside the bottle, to flow and even gush with aliveness. I have a yearning for us to be able to overflow and express ourselves more fully in life.
I want that for myself and I want that for others. I truly believe it’s what each of us deserve, and what the world needs.
How I got to Courage
It was around my 40th birthday last fall that I deeply connected to Courage.
I had left my corporate job a few months earlier, and was training to become a coach.
In one of the trainings, our task was to develop a life purpose statement in 30 minutes.
“There’s no way this is going to happen,” I thought cynically.
But the instructor guided us through a few visualizations, and I landed on this metaphor of a Mentos dropped in a bottle of soda. Then it became a rainstorm of Mentos dropped into countless bottles of soda.
I was like, “Huh. So this is the impact I want to make on the world?”
That afternoon, we were all asked to put a visual representation of our life purpose on the screen behind us on Zoom.
Here’s mine:
As you can see, I had some fun with it. At the time, I knew vaguely what the bottle represented and the role I wanted to play in its explosion.
But it wasn’t until months later—in a different training—that I understood the role Courage played in the metaphor.
At that point, each of us was asked to stand up and tell our story: how we got to coaching, who we are as a coach now, and who we’re becoming as a coach.
I shared that I’d been on a path most of my life, ever since elementary school. I was a good student, I got good grades, went to good schools, and got good jobs. Being on a path worked for me for a long time. It helped me get so much of what I wanted out of my life…until I hit a dead end and my playbook stopped working for me (and, as it turns out, for some of my family and friends).
I ended up laying myself off from a well paying tech job, and left my career behind. At the time, I didn’t know that I’d become a coach or start writing. In fact, I had no idea what would happen next. I only knew that I needed to slow things down for myself and figure out a new way of being.
When I finished telling my story, a fellow coach called me “Courageous.”
It was one of those moments that truly stopped me in my tracks. Like I wanted to yell at him but also maybe cry. I was silent, but inside I was screaming: “I wasn’t Courageous, I was weak! Courage is too strong a word!” But I trusted him, and I left myself open to the idea that maybe he saw something that I couldn’t.
Since that moment, I felt both embraced and entangled in that word, like I never wanted to let it go.
And I started to see that Courage is in the fizz—the force that helps us express ourselves.
Pointed in the direction of Courage
I believe Courage is a major highway to fulfillment, kindness, fun, creativity, and change in the world.
I also believe that one of the greatest lies we’ve been taught is that Courage isn’t for us. We’ve been taught that it’s for heroic figures of monumental proportions, not for everyday people like you and me.
And so I’m on a mission to be both a student and teacher of Courage, exploring what it is, why we need it, and how we can cultivate more of it.
I want to find out what happens when more of us stand in Courage.
And so I’m building my business around Courage—not only working with coaching clients on developing their own Courage, but also reading books, asking questions, and spending time thinking about how to make Courage more accessible. My theory is that if people can connect to Courage in a way that’s resonant for them, they can more easily act on it and spread it to others.
Gosh, I wish I could say I have it all figured out, but I don’t.
What I do know, however, is that I’m on a journey pointed in the direction of Courage.
As we take these first steps together, here are some basic things to expect:
This is for you: While I consider this my notepad to explore new ideas about Courage, my goal is always to bring out the Courage in you, either through insights or actions. At the bottom of each newsletter, you’ll find questions or a challenge to help you deepen your connection to Courage in your own life.
Let’s have fun in this: Courage is such a loaded term and can be overwhelming. But the truth is, it’s fun to live in Courage! As such, it should be fun to think about, fun to contemplate. Also, I’ll try to be Courageous myself in my own writing. Personally, I know I’m being Courageous when I wonder “What will people think?” I’ll strive to write with a level of depth and honestly that makes me a bit afraid every time I hit send.
We all have something to learn: My goal isn’t to be right here. My goal is to make Courage more accessible, which by definition requires there being many different ways to get to Courage. I want to hear yours! I want you to bring your experiences and questions to the table by commenting on posts, sharing them with others, or writing me directly. Your feedback helps us all.
I’m excited to see where On Courage leads us!
- Elliot
Each week, I’ll ask a handful of questions designed to help you connect to Courage in your own way. Take a moment to reflect on these. If you like to journal, feel free to do so!
What do you currently believe to be true about Courage?
Who do you believe has the right to call themselves Courageous?
If you could be more Courageous, what do you think you’d feel?
What would more Courage add to your life, and those around you?
Next Sunday: Defining Courage