What This is Becoming

A look at how this podcast is evolving, how I'm evolving, and how it's helping me understand my purpose

As I tried scripting a podcast episode this week, I found myself struggling to clarify its message. Perhaps not uncoincidentally, the topic was how to operate from a place of ease. 😆

When I have that struggling feeling—the feeling of: something doesn’t feel right—I’m learning to listen to it rather than push through it. A previous version of me would’ve fought that feeling and forced the episode to work.

Now, I’m taking that feeling as a signal to check in with myself.

What’s this telling me?

What’s become clear is that, with the podcast, I’m in a moment of transition here. It’s a transition that holds the promise of a new chapter and the uneasiness of it all playing out live and in public.

Certainly I could just let it play out silently in the background and never call attention to it. But I’m thinking that sharing what’s going on may give you insight into your own courage or your own creative pursuit.

So here’s what’s happening.

What’s working and not working

I’ve experimented with the podcast for a few months, and now I’m looking more closely at whether it’s having the impact I desire.

It’s difficult to measure, but I have clues about how it’s connected to folks:

• The podcast has had 1,000+ downloads since I started it

• I’ve had a handful of people reach out wanting to work with me because of what I’ve shared

• A former colleague texted me saying I’m the “Ezra Klein of Courage” lol

Crossing the 500 download mark in January

I appreciate all of those things—they’re little signposts that I’m onto something—and yet I’m aware there’s quite a bit that isn’t working:

• My topics cover everything from fear to curiosity to careers, and even to me at times it’s not 100% clear how they all connect

• I’ve done a bunch of “How To” episodes that have been fun to craft, but personally I’m craving more variety in terms of format

• My subscriber growth has flatlined

My newsletter subscriber growth

And that’s a big one. I don’t measure success by subscribers alone, but it’s certainly a strong indicator that the podcast isn’t quite landing with the people I want to reach. There’s work to be done.

So I’m investing more in the podcast

There’s nothing unique about some things working and some not working.

That’s life, that’s building a business, that’s creating anything in the world. I’m not worried about it. I see it as an opportunity to figure out where my attention needs to be.

And so here’s what I’m deciding:

• Sharpening the Podcast: I’m about to hire a podcast advisor (yes, that’s a thing!) to help me refine the premise and voice of the show. I want to create something significantly clearer, more valuable, and “must-listen-able”. Right now my premise is as broad as can be: On Courage. So there’s lots of room to define who I’m trying to reach and what I promise to deliver—and adapt the podcast accordingly.

• Changing the Pace: For nearly 9 months, this has been a weekly endeavor, with the exception of a few weeks off during the winter holidays and earlier this year. Honestly, I’ve loved the challenge of creating at that pace. But as I go through this transition, I’m aiming for a bi-weekly cadence so I can make time for the sharpening.

I’m investing in the podcast because it’s become so much more than a creative and business pursuit. I see it as part of my own personal growth.

For most of my professional life, I ran my voice through a filter (“is this a smart thing to say?” “do I have enough information?” “what will be said next?”). And so I’m trying to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction these days, leaning into my own voice at home, in my coaching, in my writing, and with friends and with family.

Not just my conceptual voice, but my actual speaking voice.

Using my voice in podcasting is part of how I help others access their courage, but it’s also become part of how I access my own.

All roads lead to purpose

Ultimately, that’s what this is all about: using my voice to help people understand, own, and live who they are.

That’s what guides my work, and it guides how I try to show up in the world.

Over the past couple weeks, one of my realizations is that I love working with entrepreneurs, soon-to-be entrepreneurs, and could-be entrepreneurs.

People who are willing to bet on themselves, face their uncertainties, and craft their impact on the world. Of course, there are many ways to do this without being an entrepreneur, but I’m noticing that I can—and want to—help this community in a unique way.

Essentially, helping them own who they are so they can build the business and life they want. Helping them see that their highest leverage is in their own purpose, voice, and wisdom.

This is where I think I’m heading, and what I believe this podcast is becoming.

Look, I don’t know all the answers yet.

Of course, there’s part of me that’s wanting all this to be perfectly tied together already so you only get the most polished output. That’s my inner perfectionist that will never fully go away.

But the journey is the journey. And I believe we’re all on some unpolished journey, some kind of powerful becoming right now.

I’m curious: what insight did you get from this?

- Elliot