Defining Courage
Taking Courage off the pedestal so we can hold it in our hands
We tell ourselves a lot of myths about what Courage is and who has it.
The person who runs into a burning building.
The person who faces their deepest demons.
The person who leads a revolution that inspires millions.
These are the faces of Courage.
If we accept these myths, then we raise the bar for Courage so ridiculously high that we believe it’s completely out of reach for regular people like us. We mythologize it to the point of inaccessibility.
The whole point of this newsletter—and of my work—is to make Courage accessible, to take Courage off the pedestal and put it in our hands so we can use it.
I believe everyone has Courage. Sure, we may not be fully aware of it or we may want more of it. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have it.
Courage is not a scarce, limited resource—it’s an underutilized one.
So how do we bring this myth back to Earth?
Well, the first step is to define Courage for ourselves so we can take ownership over it.
Putting it in our hands
I’ve created my own definition of Courage, which I’ll share below.
But before that, you have to understand that I’m not interested in being right or wrong.
If there are 1,000 people reading this, my goal isn’t to have 1,000 people agree with me. My goal is to have 1,000 people engaging with the idea of Courage, and creating a powerful definition for themselves so they can put it in their own hands. You see? There are many ways to get to Courage. We want Courage to be fully within reach for everybody.
When I consider the Dictionary definition of Courage, it feels out of reach. The Dictionary defines Courage as “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”
When I read this, it feels flat. Yes, it points to the primary tensions that are present in Courage, but it doesn’t capture what’s truly important about it. It doesn’t tell us what the point of Courage is.
And more importantly, the focus on a “mental or moral strength” feels dangerously judgmental and exclusive. It infers that some people have the strength and some don’t. As I’ve said, the question isn’t whether we have it or not. We all have it. It’s whether we choose to access it.
So here’s my definition of Courage:
Courage is the practice of moving toward yourself.
It’s the collective practice of choosing our humanity amid the uncertainty of life.
When I hold this definition, I can see more clearly:
What Courage is — a practice
What it’s all about — living fully in oneself
Why we need it — it’s a requirement of humanity
Courage is a practice. I love the idea that Courage is a practice rather than a personal attribute or characteristic. As a practice, Courage is something that must be learned, acted on, and called on time and again throughout our lives. As a practice, Courage is completely achievable. There’s no judgement about “how much” or “how little” Courage you’re using. You’re either practicing it or you’re not. And if not, then there’s always the chance to start.
Courage is about moving toward yourself. The reason we mythologize Courage is because it’s so crucial to our lives. Courage is what allows us to pursue our truest selves—our values, desires, identities, and purpose—in a world that’s filled with expectations, norms, and judgements. Without Courage, we easily follow in the path of others rather than standing in our own journeys. Courage doesn’t exist for the sake of Courage, for its own sake. Courage is for our own sake.
We need Courage to be human: The second part of this definition is just as important as the first. It points to the fact that Courage is as much a collective pursuit as an individual one. Nobody is spared from the harsh uncertainties of life, and so we all require Courage. Again, it’s not a scarce resource—it’s generous and abundant. When we want Courage for ourselves, we want it for others. When we give permission to ourselves to be Courageous, we give permission to others to be Courageous, too. We are connected by Courage.
When I see someone taking a stand for their values or pursuing their passion or sharing a hidden part of themselves or saying no to expectations that have been put on them, this definition helps me see the role Courage plays in moving them toward themselves. It’s not about me seeing a moral or mental strength that that person has that nobody else does. It’s simply about witnessing the practice of Courage, and the impact it has on them and those around them.
I welcome you to use or adapt this definition, and I welcome you to create your own.
What becomes possible
If you read last week’s newsletter, I shared how I panicked when someone called me Courageous last year. I nearly rejected it entirely. That’s what happens when you believe the myth of Courage, that it’s not meant for you.
But the moment I took Courage off its pedestal—defined it for myself and put it in my hands—it completely changed my relationship to Courage.
And here’s what I’m learning as a result of that:
We all have Courage. I feel like I can’t say this enough. Life is filled with uncertainty, and yet we continue to pursue our lives. That’s Courage! Sure, we’re not always being Courageous at every moment, but that doesn’t mean we don’t all have it.
We can get better at seeing and cultivating Courage. If we can define Courage, we can understand it. And if we can understand it, we can become aware of it within and around us. I’m amazed by what a little awareness can do. I’m no longer looking up at it on a pedestal. I see it all around me, here on ground level. It’s 100% available to all of us to put in our hands and bring into our lives.
We are the judge of our own Courage. Courage should not be gatekept, arbitrated, nor measured by others. If Courage is the practice of moving toward ourselves, then ultimately only we can evaluate it for ourselves. It’s your life, after all. Only you know when you’re being Courageous. As a result, each of us needs to build the skill of knowing when we’re standing in Courage and when we need more of it.
Courage is urgently needed. When we mythologize Courage as much as we do, it becomes a nice-to-have. It’s just too out of reach for most people. But when we start to view Courage as integral to our own aliveness and humanity, it actually becomes a need-to-have. We need Courage to live. The more Courage we have access to, the more life we can live. It couldn’t be more crucial.
This definition forms the basis of how I think about Courage, and much of what we’ll learn together from here. We’re going to keep building and deepening our relationship with Courage.
Next Sunday, we’ll talk about how you can see (and call on) the invisible thread of Courage in your life. We all have it, and we’re going to bring it to life.
- Elliot
Each week, I’ll ask a handful of questions here for you to contemplate so you can connect to Courage in your own way. Take a moment to reflect on these. If you like to journal, feel free to do so!
What does this definition make available to you? What feels right about it, and what feels like it’s missing?
What is your definition of Courage?
How do you want to take Courage off its pedestal and put it in your hands?