8. The Problem with Problem Solving

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In this episode, I pick a bone with problem solving.

I argue that we overuse problem solving skills, often holding us back from: connecting fully with other people, having a life filled with contentment and joy, and navigating the complex paradoxes of adult life.

We also play a game of “You might have a problem with problem solving if…” in which I share the telltale signs of excessive reliance on problem solving.

I advocate for turning the volume down on problem solving. And when you turn it down, what other approaches can you turn up?

And I offer 7 alternatives:

1. Look for Opportunities: Shift focus from immediate problem-solving to envisioning future possibilities.

2. See People as Naturally Creative, Resourceful, and Whole: Embrace a perspective that views individuals as capable of solving their own problems.

3. Ask a Simple Question: Introduce the powerful question, "Do you need to be heard, helped, or hugged?" to understand the support someone truly needs.

4. Become Aware of How Change Happens: Challenge the notion that problem solving is the only path to positive change; explore the role of transformation.

5. Determine if It's Your Problem to Solve: Acknowledge that not every problem is your responsibility; trust others to find solutions when needed.

6. Learn to Sit with Discomfort: Emphasize the importance of facing discomfort without immediate resolution, allowing for emotional processing.

7. Focus on Being Instead of Doing: Shift the emphasis from finding the perfect solution to understanding who you want to be in a given situation.

As always, I hope you find this useful and I welcome your thoughts.

- Elliot